Being a horrible troll of a human being I don’t often get Valentine’s Day cards; I think the count is about nine over the course of twenty-eight years (and some of those don’t count because of the circumstances). Still, until today I had never received an anonymous card.
Anonymity in re Valentine’s Day has always struck me as not-even-vaguely silly. Now I know exactly who sent this card. It falls into the ‘bloody obvious’ category for two reasons; a certain reference in it and the fact that, being new to the UK I know exactly who has my address (since only the local bank really knows I exist). So I ask, what is the point of the anonymity? Is it meant to foster attention? Make me think idle thoughts of love? Engage my rumpy-pumpy mechanism? Am I spelling ‘anonymity’ correctly? Probably not. Sorry, side-tracked. If the sender of my Valentine wishes to remain hidden then why send it? If she wishes to be revealed why not sign it?
Oh, I get it. It’s obfuscation. If I decide to ignore the Valentine then she never need admit to it. If I decide to follow it then I’m still regquired to make the first move. Clever. Irritating. Still, endearing, although I belong to the ‘Women should make the first move’ society. Actually, this might count.
Talking about clever; I want to plug my Blogger profile because I had forgotten that I wrote this and I still find it funny:
Morthos (Brother Morthos to his friends) is a leading proponent of Intelligent Design Theory. He is the author of ‘The Identity of the Designer Revealed: The Elder Things,’ ‘The False Designer: Cthulhu’ and the educational pamphlet ‘The Mystery Of What Happened to the Designer Solved: The Shuggoth.’ He has been variously described; most people agree that he is the last of a dying breed of glorified dandies, fit only to commit high treason in this season’s most fashionable colours.