Pre-emption

Josh usually posts this stuff, but here’s some sage advice from the Kung Fu Monkey.

But let’s not get distracted. Point is — questionable hook-ups. We, as ordinary citizens, all know how we get out of this: you stop returning the crazy person’s calls. We promise never to bring it up when drinking. Several years from now, when everything’s scabbed over the two of us can joke about our mutual lapses in judgement while sharing a fine Rolling Rock beverage.

Don’t return their calls on Tuesday. It’ll suck for a while, and they may bomb Iran to get your attention, and you’ll get lots of screaming and crying about how they’re the only ones who love you and can protect you from Osama and the gays, but you dig in, man up, come over and watch a few baseball games,and ride it out. You’ll probably have to hang tough through 2008, when they have that fake rehab “No baby, I’m okay now, come with me to group” bullshit going on. Don’t fall for it. Cra. zy.

Then one day — one day soon, I promise — you find you’ve gone and gotten your party back from the crazy people, and you and I can go back to arguing about mimimum wage and universal health care and tax rates on millionaires like civilized countries do.


About Matthew Dentith

Author of "The Philosophy of Conspiracy Theories" (Palgrave Macmillan), Matthew Dentith wrote his PhD on epistemic issues surrounding belief in conspiracy theories. He is a frequent media commentator on the weird and the wonderful, both locally and internationally. On occasion he can be caught dreaming about wax lions but, mostly, it is rumoured he works for elements of the New World Order.