Table of contents for The Christchurch Earthquake Conspiracy (plural)
- The Christchurch Quake Conspiracy (plural) – Part One – Introduction
- The Christchurch Quake Conspiracy (plural) – Part Two – The LHC
- The Christchurch Quake Conspiracy (plural) – Part Three – HAARP
- The Christchurch Quake Conspiracy (plural) – Part Four – Mining, Dairying, the Reptiles and You
- The Christchurch Quake Conspiracy (plural) – Part Five – Falling and Free Masonry
- The Christchurch Quake Conspiracy (plural) – Part Six – Astrology
- The Christchurch Quake Conspiracy (plural) – Part the Last – A Conclusion, sort of
- The Christchurch Quake Conspiracy (plural) – Part the PDF
- The Christchurch Quake Conspiracy (plural) – Part Nine – Ken Ring’s Successful Opinion?
Would you believe that there was a conspiracy to sell more lingerie behind the earthquake? No, nor would I, and this article doesn’t even suggest it (even though it does suggest the two are causally related). Still, if I were the writer behind the Bob Parker website, I’d be including it in the narrative.
The Eye in the Pyramid in the Field (in Christchurch)
Freemasonic plots are not common (as far as I’ve found in my reading of the local literature) in the conspiracy theories of Aotearoa. We don’t really do the “fear of what those ancient and secret societies are up to” thing; we just tend to think that the members of such fraternal orders are bit sad1. However, someone in Christchurch, writing in to The Press2, thinks that there is something suspicious about the quake and the devastation it has caused to certain Masonic landmarks:
Thanks for the schematic of the epicentre. My attention was instantly drawn to the eye at the apex of a perfectly pyramidical paddock, itself part of a larger equilateral triangle formed by Kivers (Covers), Grange and Aylesbury roads.
Given that the eye in the pyramid is a classic Masonic symbol, it is strangely coincidental that much of what was destroyed in the quake involved the work of masons, my great-great-grandfather, William Brassington, chief among them.
As my Christchurch-based correspondent wrote:
Although I … [PROFESSION REDACTED TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT] make some sort of living decoding visual images, clearly it didn’t make such a profound impression on me as on the letter-writer, who is probably contacting Dan Brown with urgent new information as we speak.
Another example of this comes out from Clare Swinney. She writes:
The first earthquake report, which was numbered: 3366146/G, stated that the focal depth was 33 km and the magnitude was 7.4 on the Richter scale. Consider that 7 + 4 = 11 and that the numbers 33 and 11 are of pivotal importance to the highest echelons of the Freemasons.
The Scottish Rite of Freemasonry consists of 33 degrees and 11, 22, and 33 are deemed Master Numbers, numbers worshipped to empower them in their bizarre quest to destroy humanity.
Those evil Scottish Freemasons (whose natural home is Dunedin, which is the enemy of good old Christchurch3). Anyway, Swinney goes on, making supposition after conjecture after, well, whatever passes for argumentation in her world, finally saying:
I have yet to find hard evidence to substantiate this. I will let you know if I do.4
Still, it gets better, trust me.
Obligatory “The Big Lebowski” Reference
Let me return to that letter to the editor of the Press. He finishes with the following classic flourish:
Christ said he would build his assembly upon a rock. Paradoxically, our city, ostensibly named for him, is built on sand, shingle and swamp – and some deeply concealed faults.
The religious angle on the Earthquake is interesting; a fair number of right-wing commentators in the States have either lamented that a place named after the Church of Christ might be destroyed in a quake (which is how a lot of people overseas seem to be reading our natural disaster) or claim that the people of Christchurch deserved it because they had the hubris to name their city after the Lord Someone’s God, who would appear to be a vengeful spirit who really only likes hypocrites and Conservatives. Or something; the dialectic about god-induced natural disasters is all very confusing and it tends to boil down to two things.
1) Can we find some (any) transgression by the locals to blame the disaster upon, and
2) Are we such complete arseholes that we’re willing to tell the victims, who are already suffering, that they deserve to suffer because they did (or, in most cases, where alleged to do) something we’re not comfortable with.
I suspect what this proves is also twofold.
1) (Some) Religiously-minded people are incredibly vindictive, and
2) The god (or the gods), that they hold so high, obviously sub-contract out these matters to incompetents (since some of the faithful always seem to get hurt in the process), which is why:
a) We really shouldn’t worship such entities if they aren’t going to bother to micro-manage (it is their job, for god’s sake5), and
b) Perhaps this suggests that the natural disasters weren’t induced by supernatural agency after-all.
That, one would hope, pretty much wraps it up for god (or the gods). Still, the religious angle is being played out elsewhere in our own conspiracy theoretic blogosophere. Over at Issues That Matter Most one post starts:
“The NZ CHRISTCHURCH earthquake is definitely a sign from God to the CHURCH OF CHRIST. The time 4:35 AM has been mentioned several times by the doves. However, no one seems to notice the coordinates: 43.55°S, 172.18°E (link). The number 435 is in the coordinates as well — 43.55°S! What is more, 29 cubits is 43.5 feet — a direct link to NOAH and our ESCAPE at the rapture !!!!!! The remaining digit 5 & the number 172.18 form two numbers that suggest HARPAZO (518 Greek gematria, from amalgam of digit 5 and .18°; link) on the 17th day of the 2nd month (from 172°) !
The local time 4:35 AM is 16:35 universal time. GET THIS RIGHT: It is 7 hours 26th minute from MIDNIGHT (G726 is HARPAZO) !!!!!!
Now, weird numbers, simple ciphers and symbolic architecture is really the play set of a certain class of conspiracy theorist. They “see” much more by the way of connection between events in the world, the landscape that makes up the world and a number of arbitrary features that exist in between. If there is a class of conspiracy theorist I do not understand, it is this kind, who I call the cabalist.
It is hard to know where to start a critique of this kind of conspiracy theorising. The use of numbers is, of course, meaningless; you can select and manipulate the names and symbols used in Numerology to get the right values and the values themselves only have particular import if you have already arbitrarily assigned meaning to them. As for finding meaning in architecture… Well, whilst it marks for best-selling pieces of fiction, in the real world sometimes a Square and Compass motif on a building usually just tells you who designed (or built) it, rather than revealing some hidden and sinister history.
Next time: It was written in the stars; the Astrology of the Christchurch Earthquake of September 4th.
- Sorry, guys, but it’s true. Your secret societies, your robes and your wacky handshakes aren’t going to get you into the parties you’d like to be going to.↩
- One of my bugbears, as a researcher, is that newspapers do not publish “Letters to the Editor” online, so I’d like to give a very special shout out to a friend down in Christchurch who goes out of her way to provide me with pieces like the following tidbit. Cher, mi’dear.↩
- Well, so I imagine.↩
- She’s talking about evidence for Tesla’s rumoured earthquake machinery, but, really, it applies to the entire screed.↩
- Oh, my comedy instinct is really running on empty at the moment.↩